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Mission Man

I've let go of almost everything I once thought was important. All that matter to me now are family, friends, music, and love. As long I hold onto that, I will never grow old.

The facts of my life can be confusing. I'm a bit ironical. Sentence fragments. Started college at 16. Got license at 18. Finished BA in business at 23. Delivering pizzas. Chillin at the Papa does not define who I am. It's a song, one of over 130 that I've created. What I did on Tuesday at 7:36 pm also does not define who I am. It's a moment. Chillin at the Papa just happens to be my most popular moment. I don't know what that says about me, or society, and I don't care. Love the song, hate the song, it doesn't matter. I do both depending on how many random strangers have quoted the lyrics for me in a given week.

Some of my moments are about having fun and being funny, hence songs such as "Playin' a little basketball" and "Weightliftin' Jam." Other moments, I want to be uplifting, hence songs such as "Hopeful Messages" and "You've Earned It." Sometimes, I want to express my passion for music and life, hence "Glimpse of a Dream" "I Need The Mic" and "Love with Passion and live with Love." Other times I think too much, and come up with stuff like "Wonder What I'd Be," "If I Did Not Have a Dream" and "World Without Mirrors."

People ask what kind of music I make. Any more, I say "rap, I guess." The name Mission Man comes from the fact that I'm on a mission to change the way people see hip-hop. It's always been about self-expression, which is why I consider it such a great art form. Somewhere, most commercial hip-hop lost sight of that because there was more money in marketing than there is in self-expression. I'm glad money is not a motivator for me. If it were, my life would be dramatically different, and probably worse (especially if I were rich).

I'm probably not the easiest person to figure out, but I will tell you my motivations, and then maybe everything will make more sense. The biggest motivator for me is my mom. She was going to school full time for her PhD while holding down 3 teaching jobs, when she was in her 40s with 4 kids. The most amazing thing to me was that when she came home, she wasn't grumpy. You could tell she was tired sometimes, but mostly I remember that she was always happy to see us. Her family mattered more than anything, and she treated all of us as blessings, not another burden she had to deal with. Watching cancer take her life over the course of 4 months was very hard to do, but as time has gone on I've allowed myself to open up those memories, and I remember she never gave up. Her last words to me were "see you next weekend." I now believe she has seen me every weekend since. She is the reason I have such a strong work ethic and a real passion and drive to make music my career, but at the same time still appreciate everything I have, even when I'm sleeping in a closet waiting for the flu to leave my system. She's also the reason I respect women so much, and have such high standards for them. I expect my future wife to be independent, hard working, caring, loving, self-respecting, driven, trusting, trustworthy, and happy, because I saw that for the first 15 years and 8 months of my life.

I've always been motivated by happiness, not money. I've been all over the spectrum with money, from living off of $4.25 an hour at McDonald's 10 hours per week in high school (after my mom died, before the social security started coming in) to having a combined parental income in the six figures, to making about $20,000-$25,000 a year delivering pizzas (before taxes and gas). I've been homeless (for a day), and I've also stayed in hotel rooms that cost over $300 per night. What mattered was the people I was with during those times. It's been my family and my close friends. I've had one closest friend for over 22 years now. Having that kind of friendship with someone has taught me an immense amount about life.

Because I'm not motivated by money, I've chosen to deliver pizzas so I can keep pursuing my dreams of making music my career. I'll get my second Bachelor's degree (in math) this summer. I expect to move to Chicago and use my degrees in some way that allows me to still follow my dreams. Before I move, I plan on touring for a few months this summer, and if I can sustain that, I'll do so indefinitely. If music is going well enough that I only need to work part-time, I'll stay in Oxford and follow that path. Either way, it's about following my heart.

Beyond that, there's not much to my motivations. I want people around me to be happy. I enjoy life, and I want to share that with others.

If you want to know more, email me, or find me on facebook or myspace.

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